My Journey to Joy

August 10, 2013

Becky Keep on Peace

Filed under: Notable Quotables — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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“Although we weren’t granted a last-minute, miraculous healing for our Jesse, we were given something greater.  We were granted the peace to accept the path that was chosen for him and for us with the unwavering assurance that God’s glory would be revealed, even in what seemed unthinkable.  Therein lies the miracle.”  Becky Keep, Eyes to See: Glimpses of God in the Dark


August 9, 2012

Walking Towards the Miracle…Our Story, Continued

Filed under: Contemplations,Uncategorized — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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After the phone call that rocked our world (a baby boy!), there was a brief flurry of activity.  Our social worker sent us a message entitled “Baby Boy” with his date of birth, height and weight, ethnicity, and other brief information.  I believe we memorized it, hungry for every detail!  More paperwork ensued: birthmother background, hospital records & etc.  Waivers and legal documents to print, read, sign, scan and return.  I don’t know what else I was doing that week, but we completed each step as quickly as possible.  We certainly didn’t want to cause any additional wait!

Then, things slowed down.  Days of no new information.  It took tremendous willpower not to call our social worker constantly, asking if she had any new information.  A week went by.  An uncommonly loooooooong week!  Our baby was stuck in “the system,” and there was nothing we could do.  I wanted to drive to Mississippi, and just sleep on the floor beside his crib.  We still had never seen our boy, not even one picture.

Finally on Friday, May 4th, we were instructed to sign a petition for the MS courts, and send it back as quickly as possible.  I’ll be honest, it was a lot of trouble to track down a notary public on a Friday night, drive downtown to the only open UPS store, and pay $35 to send a package.  I’ve never been happier to do something!  They could have charged whatever they liked.  We watched online for confirmation of the documents’ arrival.  We knew our lawyer would be presenting it to the judge on Wednesday.  Praying without ceasing became almost a literal habit.

Wednesday (May 9th) we were eating with my family, when my sister had a vicious abdominal attack.  I whisked her children to my house, so they wouldn’t see their mommy in pain.  I turned on a movie and cranked up the volume so they wouldn’t hear the ambulance.  There was a message on my phone.  From my social worker.

“Call me on my cell….  There are some new developments…Nothing to worry about.  Okay, I’ll just say it right out, it’d good news, so call me…”  I stood at my window, watching the ambulance pull away with my best friend inside, as I listened to our social worker tell me that the judge had granted our petition.  We could go get our son…on Friday!  Such mixed emotions!  I didn’t know if I should tell anyone in the middle of everything else, but I couldn’t keep it in. 

My mom told my sister, who was lying on a gurney in the ER.  “Oh, good,” she said.  “Let’s talk about that instead!”  See why I love her?!  Thankfully, Krista was fine, just a freakish combination of circumstances made her so ill.  The next day she limped to a baby boutique and went shopping for her long-awaited nephew.  You can believe those gifts are incredibly special to me!

And so we packed up everything we thought we might need, checking and re-checking lists.  We borrowed a video camera, charged the Nikon, lay out our clothes, and waited for Friday…

January 16, 2011


Filed under: Contemplations — aunthoddy @ 9:23 PM
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Sometime last year I read a book called Empty Arms, Aching Heart.  It is a collection of essays about infertility.  It’s a very interesting book, and easy to read.  I highly recommend it.  Here is one  article about domestic adoption.  It talks about a failed adoption.

I want to warn all of you, that there are many, many failed adoptions.  Everything may seem to be working out, but nothing is certain until everything is finalized.  We may complete our paperwork, prepare our nursery, and even get our baby…only to have it taken away.

Children are a gift from God.  He is in control.  But sometimes we forget.

I assumed that I would get pregnant.  I assumed I would have a healthy baby.  I’m wary to assume that I’ll have a successful adoption the first time.

I used to take so much for granted.  Now I’m aware of what can go wrong, the many details that could make any particular adoption impossible.  Now I realize that our child, however and whenever God sends it, will be a miracle.

And that’s perfect.

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