My Journey to Joy

January 12, 2013

Cathy Parker on Trust

Filed under: Notable Quotables,Uncategorized — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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We must give God the chance to earn our trust by obeying Him before we understand why.  ~Cathy Parker


July 31, 2012

Songs for the Journey- Great is Thy Faithfulness

Filed under: Songs for the Journey — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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“…All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided…”

April 3, 2012

Songs for the Journey- In Brokenness You Shine

Filed under: Songs for the Journey — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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November 10, 2011


Filed under: Contemplations — aunthoddy @ 7:59 AM
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 Faithful is he that calleth you, who will also do it. 1Thessalonians 5:24

It’s hard to believe when nothing seems to be happening.  Time strains on faith.  Belief is assaulted by questions.  And I’m tired.

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard? The everlasting God, Jehovah, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary; there is no searching of his understanding.  He giveth power to the faint; and to him that hath no might he increaseth strength.  Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: but they that wait for Jehovah shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40:28-30

On November 3rd, 2010 I wrote: Infertility packs a double punch.  It’s different from most griefs in that it is both chronic (constant) and crisis (monthly hope/disappointment).   Guess what we’re finding out about adoption?!  Constant wishing/hoping/praying, followed by crisis times (maybe this is the one!).

I can “gather up my courage” for short bursts.  I can face down brief stresses (this will all be over in an hour…).  I can stand up to frightening situations with my adrenaline pumping.  But this?  This is beyond me.  I can’t sustain through years and years of this by myself.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I read a blog yesterday that told me I’m not alone in feeling this.  (Isn’t God faithful to do that?  Sends along encouragement just when I need it!)

I can’t do this!

When the Lord has whispered to our hearts to move forward in the journey to adopt, we want to say, “I can’t do this.”

When we consider the funds required, we say, “I can’t do this.”

When we ponder various medical special needs, we say, “I can’t do this.”

When the wait drags on and on, we say, “I can’t do this.”

When we finally bring our child home and are faced with difficult issues, we say, “I can’t do this.”

When we share our burdens with others, they often say, “I could never do that.”

But all the while, our Heavenly Father is saying, “No, my child, but I can.”

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9a

Oh, how many days I forget that God never intended for us to do this alone!


1 Thessalonians 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.


September 15, 2011


Filed under: Contemplations — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  Hebrews 11:1

Hope is a powerful thing.  It is what drives us.  It keeps us looking ahead, reaching.  It’s the light in our hearts makes us hold on when things are hard.  But it’s also dangerous.

Hope deferred maketh the heart sick… Proverbs 13:12

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought of this verse.  Unfulfilled hopes are painful.  Disappointment is hard to carry. But I was missing something important.  Deferred means “withheld for or until a stated time.”  (Merriam Webster)  God’s time.  And there’s more to the verse!

but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

That’s what hope is!  Believing that this isn’t for forever!  There is something more!  I have something to look forward to!

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24

Hope is absolutely necessary.  For a while, I tried my best not to hope, fearing how painful it would be when I was disappointed.  It didn’t work.  For one thing, I reacted every time any new possibility presented itself- heart pounding, palms sweating, mind racing.  What’s more, it took away my motivation.  Why would we continue working towards this goal if we never thought it would happen?  I don’t know when or how, but I believe God is working through everything for His purpose in His time.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.  Psalm 16:9

This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.  It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.  The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentation 3:21-26

I love the promise God made to Israel, and I believe it will be true for me too.

The Lord your God wins victory after victory and is always with you.   He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life  with his love.  The Lord has promised: Your sorrow has ended, and you  can celebrate.  Zephaniah 3:17-18

May 2, 2011


Filed under: Contemplations — aunthoddy @ 8:19 PM
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Tonight I saw a link to a blog entitled: “When the Crib Went Empty.”  It was about a woman’s miscarriage, and her subsequent grief.  I haven’t had to go through this, but I comprehend some of her anguish.

My crib is empty.  I’ve shut the door on a beautiful room full of stars and moons, books, toys and blankets.  I’ve tried to shut my heart, for a time, to the yearning that will not relent.  Unsuccessfully.

Our home study is going well.  We’re nearing the end to this part of our journey.  Today our social worker warned us that the fun part was almost over.

Fun?!  We’ve had every vestige of privacy ripped away.  We’ve paid exhorbitant sums of money and stretched our budget to the max.  We’ve rearranged schedules, taken off work, made multiples trips, gone through reams of paperwork, dealt with bureaucracy on many levels.  We’ve jumped through hoops, agonized over decisions, and prayed, prayed, prayed.

Soon, the hard times will come.  Times when we’ll get calls with questions.  Times when our hopes will be raised and dashed.  Times when we’ll think it’s really almost over, almost accomplished…then nothing.

This weekend we attended an adoption education class.  The sessions were wonderful, and it was great to connect with other couples with the same struggles.  One couple in particular stood out to me.  They’ve recently experienced a failed adoption.  They thought their miracle had come.  Their nursery was complete, their dreams about to be fulfilled, their crib…is empty.

They gave it away on Friday.  The sight of it was just too much.  They’re trying to continue with the process, but their hearts are broken.  “Why?  We courted…we were chaste…we would love a child with all our hearts…”  The haunting questions.  Some I have resolved, with God’s help.  Some, I still wonder.

In a comment at the end of the post “When the Crib Went Empty” someone wrote this:

Lament is a form of worship.

And so I join with countless saints, who throughout the ages have cried out to God.

“She weeps bitterly in the night, Her tears are on her cheeks…she finds no rest…she is in bitterness.  My strength and my hope have perished…See, O Lord, that I am in distress… 

This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope.  Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness!  The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I hope in Him!  The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”  Lamentations 1-3, selections

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