My Journey to Joy

October 27, 2012

Vanessa on Empathy

Filed under: Notable Quotables,Uncategorized — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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Experiencing deep and wrenching pain qualifies you in a way that no book or course or degree could ever hope to do because the memory of your pain and the way you may have beat at the walls with your fists at night with tears burning the makeup off your cheeks and demanding that God tell you what the meaning of this cruel and horrible circumstance in your life was, gives you a unique insight and compassion that enables you to take hold of someone who is falling apart beside you and say ‘I’ve been there’  ~Vanessa


May 3, 2012


Filed under: Contemplations — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
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I like to plan ahead. It makes me feel “in control,” I feel that I can do a better job, unexpected problems can be solved…  I don’t always do it, but I like it.  🙂 

When we decided to adopt, we told people in a certain order.  We painted and set up a nursery (with items I’d been collecting for over ten years!).  I made a file box with colorful folders for our adoption paperwork.  I read and thought and shopped and put together a gift for our birthmother.  I made a list of last-minute items to purchase, people to call, and stuff to take to the hospital (if necessary).  I read books about adoption and parenting.  Still, I feel so unprepared…

We’ve put a lot of prayer, thought, time, and resources into preparing for our child/children.  But we also want to prepare for the future.  We’ve talked about college funds and weddings.  We’ve spent a lot of time talking and praying about whom we should put in our will as guardians, if something should happen to both of us. 

Today, I was again mentally going through a list of our friends and family, who happen to be some of the finest people on earth.  And none of them were what I wanted!  “They’re so loving, but a little lenient… They raised wonderful children, but they’re all little older now… They love Jesus so much, but could they financially handle another child?… Would they love my child as much as theirs?… Would they ensure my child gets the education and special services he/she might need?” 

Out of all of these exceptional people, I don’t want to entrust my child to any of them!  And it hit me…how must a birthmother feel?  I know these people, I’ve seen their lives, I have faith and confidence in them.  I’ve been around them for years.  I know their quirks, how they react, and their strengths.  Birthmoms get a few pictures and some words in a little book.  (If that!)  Sometimes they get a photo and a letter.  To choose forever.  I’ve had a glimpse, but I really can’t imagine…

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