My Journey to Joy

October 4, 2012


Filed under: Contemplations — aunthoddy @ 10:08 AM

People often say that Nathan is “lucky” that we adopted him.  Frankly, as his momma I find this mildly irritating, but I appreciate the compliment and spirit behind it.  But I’m floored.  We are so blessed to have this amazing boy as our son.  Blessed by the painful sacrifice of his birthmom.  Blessed that God worked in so many incredible ways to make this adoption happen.  I hope that it goes both ways.  I want to bless my boy.  I think a beautiful picture of family is each member giving to the rest, everyone blessed and thankful to be a part.

I guess the sticky part for me is that I seldom hear people telling bio kids that they’re lucky to be in their family.  I don’t want my son to grow up with a sense of unworthiness or debt hanging over his head.  (“You’re so lucky…you’d better be _____.”)  Family shouldn’t come with strings attached.  And the gift goes both ways.

At the same time, I don’t want to overindulge him, and treat him in ways that would hinder him later in life.  I don’t want to turn my little miracle into a little brat!  🙂  Daniel & I talk often about the fact that even though he is small, we’re not raising a baby, we’re raising a man of God.  It’s our job to teach him.  Unconditional love and affection come easily so far, but he needs boundaries too.

I prayed for this baby for so long.  He absolutely holds my heart.  I love him more than I could possibly explain.  I have prayed that if he won’t surrender to God that He would take him to heaven now, despite how that would break my heart.  With God’s help, I’ll not neglect to teach him the submission he’ll need later in life to come under God’s authority.  What an ironic travesty that would be.

Often, as I pray over my baby, pleading with God to give me the wisdom that I need to be a godly parent, the words to a song come into my mind.  My family sang Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us at my wedding, and now I sing the fourth verse over Nathan:

Early let us seek Thy favor; early let us do Thy will. 

Blessed Lord and only Savior, with Thy love our beings fill. 

Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus!  Thou hast loved us; love us still…”



  1. Excellent!

    Comment by bethany fleming — October 4, 2012 @ 10:28 PM | Reply

  2. So well said, Holly!! God gifted you with words. We are so blessed to have Nathan, but as you know, people are saying, and rightly, that he too is blessed to have a Christian home. I so hope that someday we would be able to know that his birth mommy has found peace with God!! I love her too sight unseen! I too pray for Nathan’s future (and all my grands, for that matter) and in the meantime, I just feel incredibly joyful and grateful!

    Comment by Sue Fleming — October 9, 2012 @ 8:36 AM | Reply

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