My Journey to Joy

December 8, 2011


Filed under: Contemplations — aunthoddy @ 5:00 AM
Tags: , , , ,

A few nights ago I could not get my brain to “turn off.”  Do you ever have those nights?  I was lying there, thinking that I really needed some rest, but ideas kept flooding into my mind.  The first time, I got up and went to the computer.  After that, I just left a notepad on the bed beside me.  Sure enough, more thoughts kept coming.  Trying to remain as sleepy as possible, I just started writing on the pad without even turning on the light.  After jotting everything down, I couldn’t resist turning on the light to see if anything was even legible.  (So much for keeping it dark and going to sleep!)  Two lines overlapped, but it was really quite good.  I could read every word!  I had trusted the pen and the paper to do what they always have, trusted my hand to do what I’ve watched it do many times.  But I was writing in the dark.

Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. John 20:29

The analogy hit me hard.  That’s what I’ve been doing for three years now.  Writing in the dark.  Trusting that God can and will do what’s best for me, when I don’t see it.  Then sometimes, just for a moment, he shines some light on things, and I get to see what He’s been doing.

When we decided to adopt, it was after much prayer, thought and discussion.  We knew that we are not the typical candidates for domestic infant adoption.  We don’t fit the stereotype: two-income, upwardly mobile family.  Most claim the entire tax credit their first year after adopting.  (We don’t pay nearly that much in taxes, because of our income.)  I spoke with our social worker the other day, and she said that we’re actually the lowest income of any of her families.  But God…

He’s not worried about all of that!  He can provide for our needs so much better than we can.  And He has been.  The week of Thanksgiving was just incredible.  Friday and Saturday we had a garage sale, with so many donated items from friends.  (I’ve never had so many people come to a garage sale, ever.)  We made quite a bit of money.  On Friday, a check came in the mail from a dear friend, totally unexpected.  On Monday, I checked the mail while cleaning up from the sale.  There was a grant from Show Hope!  I was so surprised that we got a grant.  Then I noticed the amount: double the amount they typically award couples!  I kept crying, and reading it again and again to see if I’d misunderstood!  Wednesday I delivered 32 pies/cakes for a Thanksgiving bake sale at my sister’s work.  So many people ordered, and lots of them overpaid.  Thursday my grandmother gave us the money she’s been collecting for us, through yard sales, quilting, canning- you name it!  In less than one week we got over $8,000 for our baby!  (I can still hardly believe it!  I’m crying writing this.)

For now we see through a glass, darkly…1Corinthians 13:12

We knew God could do this, but it is wonderful to see Him doing it is such a big, awesome way!  I keep thinking I know how God will work things out, but I forget who He is!  He has all resources!  Time doesn’t matter to Him.  If He needs us to wait, He can do that.  If He needs to work things out quickly, He can do that!  It has helped me to remember what I know- He’s in control of this!  He is all-powerful.  Nothing can stop His will/purpose.  God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful.  1Thessalonians 5:24

I rejoice to see God working on our behalf.  I thank Him for all He is doing, whether we are aware of it or not.  I believe that He will continue to do what is best for us.  My faith is growing

Now faith is assurance of things hoped for, a conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 


1 Comment »

  1. Even though I know this stuff, I cry again to read it. What an awesome, mighty God we serve. He proves Himself over & over! Yet why should we be surprised that a God Who would send His Only Son to save sinners would work in behalf of those who love Him?! He loves us while we are yet unlovable sinners-so of course He loves His ADOPTED children!!! And I love you!~Mom

    Comment by Sue Fleming — December 8, 2011 @ 9:39 AM | Reply

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