My Journey to Joy

February 10, 2011

Agency

Filed under: Adoption 101 — aunthoddy @ 9:20 PM
Tags: , , , ,

On Tuesday, we went to visit Lifeline Adoption Agency.  We’ve researched them on the Internet and asked questions via phone, but we wanted to meet face-to-face and hear about their programs.  We had planned on two thirty-minute interviews.  The first interview lasted thirty minutes.  The second, over an hour!

We loved them!

Their passion for Christ and children was evident.  We got to ask so many questions, and they shared tons of information.  I took lots of notes, but it was still hard to soak it all in.

Our journey through infertility, and now toward adoption has been a gradual one.

Research, think, talk, pray.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.

Each step has seemed excruciatingly slow, but it seemed foolish to rush something this enormous, this life-changing, with eternal consequences.

At this point, we are pursuing domestic adoption.  That means that we will go through a series of steps, some easy, some hard, some frustrating, some painful.  On Tuesday, we were given a packet that included an application.  We get to pay $250 for the privilege of asking to be considered.  😉  We started working on the application Tuesday, and we’re almost finished.

7 pages of questions regarding “child desired”

Acceptable/Willing to Discuss/Not Acceptable

Slight Limp

Needs Leg Braces

Missing Limb

Is In Wheel Chair

Paraplegic

Quadriplegic

And on, and on, and on…  Everything you could ever think of, and then many more, each requiring prayer, thought, research, and discussion!

8 pages of general information, references, and financial info

Talk about getting into the nitty-gritty!  How much do we spend on eating out?  Our Internet service?  Our garbage pickup?  What are our cars worth?  Our house?  Our retirement?  This is just the general form.  They’ll get personal later!

3 pages for our doctrine & testimonies

I think everybody should do this!  It was really neat to read each other’s testimonies, and re-affirm what we believe.

So now, we send it in.  And wait to hear.  (Have you noticed a waiting theme?!)  If we’re accepted…

We’ll have a home study done.  This means that a social worker (from our agency) will come to our house and check it out to see if it is clean, safe, and has a place for a child.  They will also interview us, together and separately, to determine if we’re good parent material.

Once we’re approved (hopefully), we’ll put together a portfolio.  This is a little book about us, including pictures and text.  Birth mothers will look at this, to decide if they want us to parent their child.  Like everything else, this is in God’s hands.  Birth mothers sometimes choose a couple for really odd reasons, like a dog, a car, or a food!

Once a birth mother chooses us, we will be notified by the agency.  This is the hard part.  There are no guarantees in this process.  She may decide not to adopt, or choose another couple for any or no reason.  We may anticipate “our” baby for weeks or months, only to have the whole thing fall through.

If we make it all of the way to birth, there are still uncertainties.  We will likely be able to pick up “our” baby from the hospital when he/she is born.  There are still 5-7 days when the birth mother can change her mind for any/no reason.

This is my greatest fear.

I may have “my” baby home for several days, only to have it taken away.  I can’t imagine that pain.  I pray it doesn’t happen.  But it is a possibility that we need to face.  For this reason, we don’t intend to publicize our actual placement until things are certain.  You will know about it, but we don’t plan any announcements & etc until after things are finalized.

So this is my update!  I finally feel as if we’re moving forward.  Some have remarked that I don’t seems as excited as they expected.  I am excited.  But it’s bittersweet.  I’ve had a lot of pain the last few years, and this process promises more of the same.  I’m convinced that the end result will be worth it, but I’m bracing myself.  That said…

We started getting out stuff for the nursery!  Oh, wow, so much cute stuff!  Daniel painted last Saturday, and I’m hoping to start decorating soon!  And Kid’s Market this year…

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